Monday

Tuesday:  This is my Monday this week.  Yesterday - my actual Monday - didn't really count as the most painful day of the week (as Monday is designed to be).  However today I must work from 1:00-10:00 thus making it a painful day.  Nevertheless, I am thankful to have a job even if it is only part-time.  

I spent most of Sunday and Monday visiting Nate in Eau Claire.  I enjoyed myself.  It was fun to see and experience some of his "other life" as I like to call it.

In our down time this weekend, Nate had me watch a couple of episodes of How I Met Your Mother.  Two episodes in and I was hooked.  Before coming home last night, I swung by Blockbuster and picked up the rest of season one.  After dinner I watched the rest of season one.  Yes, I watched an entire season of How I Met Your Mother in 24 hours.  Apparently I need to pace myself with the rest of the seasons, so I am waiting to begin season two.  

Tomorrow I need to pick up the job search again.  I have taken about four days off and I need to catch up.  Looking for a job is a lot like having a job except you don't get paid.  Lame.

My Utmost for His Highest was good today.  It was fitting.  Perhaps I'll post it later.

Until then...XOXO

Egg McMuffins

I just got my oil changed and while I was waiting I went to McDonalds to have my quiet time and get some coffee/breakfast (I have never had McDonalds breakfast before, and I probably won't make it a habit). When I was there I was the only woman and the only person under 55. I took a back corner table near a larger table of old men. As I sat, attempting to read Genesis, I listened to their conversations; there were a couple going on. One man was talking about an old friend of his from Seminary, another man was cracking jokes such as, "I wonder if my commemorative Obama plate will come in the mail today." After the men around him sat in silence for a bit he slapped his knee and said, "Just kidding. Hey, why didn't they make Bush bobble heads?"  It was about half way through their geography trivia that they acknowledged my existence.  I my Harvard sweatshirt on - the one I bought off the streets of Boston when I visited Kate a couple falls ago.  I'm not sure if they actually thought if I went to Harvard, but they kept referring to it when they would get one of their trivia questions wrong.  They were sweet men.  The man who joked about the Obama plate saw my Bible and said above everyone else's chatter, "Well it looks like Harvard is reading the greatest book ever sold." I looked up at him and simply smiled and said, "Sure am!"  Another man brought the pot of coffee over to top me off and made sure my cream was just right.  They invited me back to join them on Monday morning, however I won't be around.  Too bad.  It felt so small town, but in the heart of Suburbia.  I kind of like that.  

Costume Jewelry, Pancakes, Social Security and Acne

I think I am going to start recording all of the Gloriaisms I hear while I live here then eventually put them together in a little book.  Here are a few of the gems:

"If you love costume jewelry, you know where you need to go?  New Orleans.  When I went down last year I got so many necklaces."

In regards to the pancake mix found in the fridge that expired in 2004 (she said this in a sarcastic tone):

"4 years!?! What are you bitchin' about?"

"I can't imagine anyone who would be calling the Social Security office that doesn't speak english."

After explaining to her all the reasons why my day sucked she added:

"...and your acne..."

I am so thankful for that woman.  I truly think she is one of the greatest women alive or who ever lived.  I would be lucky to turn out like her someday.  

So it doesn't look like I'll have to work retail full time.  No, I didn't get a different job.  The opportunity that I thought I may have with BE is no longer an option.  I'm still searching for something.  Whatever will be will be.  It's just life.

"But the LORD still waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion.  For the LORD is a faithful God.  Blessed are those who wait for him to help them."

~Isaiah 30:18

Job hunt

As my friends head back to school to start their second semester, it is beginning to hit me that I am indeed a college graduate and that I am also in desperate need of a job.  I do have a job at Bare Escentuals as their Lead Trainer, however it is part-time.  With college loans waiting to be paid off, part-time will not cut it.  There are other potential opportunities within this company that may open up in the future, but they are all retail.  A job is a job.  Yes, this I understand, but retail is a job that runs your life.  I cannot tell you what days or hours I am free next week, because I have to wait for my schedule to be made.  I do not want my job to be my life.  Instead I want to have a regular schedule so I can commit myself to other things.  I have not served in the church since high school.  It would have been unrealistic to expect myself to go to school full time and work two jobs most of the time and also serve.  There is a season for everything.  Now that season is closed and I would like to serve at Evergreen and join a small group, but working a retail schedule I can't promise that I'll be able to show up when I'm needed.  That frustrates me to no end.

This leads me to my next struggle as I try to find a job.  More than anything I want the job that God has for me, but I don't know what that looks like.  Sometimes I wonder if it is to stay at Bare Escentuals, because of the friendships I am able to maintain with my coworkers.  The girls I work with know where I stand and I know that I am different (glory to Christ Jesus).  At the same time I wonder if that is right.  Wouldn't God want me to be involved in the church again?  I don't know what I want.  I don't know what God's will looks like.  I keep thinking about what Brent talked about this weekend.  So this is me beginning to think about all of the horrible scenarios of what could happen.  Would I be okay with working a crappy retail schedule (even though I feel over qualified for the position) if that's what God needs me to do? Yes...but only if I knew that's what he wanted.  How about if I never get a job?  Do you see why this is so hard to do?

Deep Breath...I am a living sacrifice. 

Pray that I do what God wants me to do and that I can know with complete assurance that it is what he needs from me.  I want to obey so badly. 

Mac is Home

I know this whole grandpa thing has been taking up the majority of my posts as of recent.  He passed away last Saturday morning at 5:30; my mom and grandma were with him when we took his last breath!  He is singing praises in heaven today and forever.  The funeral is today at two o'clock.  It's funny to see people's reaction to us as we speak of Mac's death.  For most, and especially those who do not put their confidence in Christ Jesus, death is a time of mourning.  Yes, the end of a life is sad, but it is also the beginning of eternity.  Mac had alzheimers and for the past couple of months he has been nothing more than a vegetable - something he never wanted to be.  So having his body on this earth with no mind was more painful for Gloria and our family than knowing he was with his Savior.  We are filled with joy as he has been taken home.

I have to sing at the funeral today.  I haven't sung in front of people since high school.  I'm not super stoked, but Old Rugged Cross is Mac's favorite hymn and I happen to like it myself.  Thanks to Amanda and my dear Nate for doing it with me and taking the edge off.  As Gloria said, "Don't be nervous; we're just presbyterians."  

Pray for Gloria.  God is good!

Back to Kindergarten

I was going to go and visit my mom at Bethany because she is subbing for Miss Wilson's Kindergarten class and I just love 5 year olds.  However, my grandma has a friend over and her car is in my way and I don't want to ask her to move it.  Therefore I will wait.  

Literally just as I wrote that last sentence, Joni (grandma's friend) asked if I needed her to move her car.  Now I've started writing this, so I'm still going to wait.

Things have been sort of hectic here at Grandmas.  We've had multiple visitors over the past couple of days.  The nurses at the nursing home say he will probably die with in the week.  Praise Jesus!  Sometimes people look at me with confusion when I react that way towards his anticipated death.  How could I not?  He was a smart, godly man who loved his family and was generous with everyone he met, and now his body and mind are failing.  Like I've mentioned before, it is about time he gets a new mind and body.  I don't mean for any of this to be depressing, but watching him die is beautiful.  It is just so peaceful and natural, the way I would want to go if I wanted to be old.  For me, I'm just hoping for the good Lord's return.  Please keep my grandma in your prayers as she goes through this process of losing her soul mate.  Please pray for me that I will find opportunities to bless Gloria.  Sometimes I just don't know how to respond to her sadness or know how to serve her best.  I just want to take all other burdens off her.  Gloria is an amazing woman.

I had something else to say, but I can't quite remember what exactly it was.  Whatever it was can't possibly be that important in comparison to the thought of entering into eternity.  I'll fly away.

Grandpa Mac

I just visited grandpa Mac at the nursing home.  Mac is 90 years old and can't even keep his eyes open.  I sometimes wonder why God doesn't just take him Home.  Earth has nothing to offer Mac anymore.  He is skin and bones and it breaks my heart to see him.  My grandma cried the whole time we were there.  Pray that the Lord takes Mac home soon so that he can have a new mind and body.  He deserves it.  Let him fly away, oh glory.

No New Years resolutions for me.

A Good Year

The year's about to end, and I feel that it is time for reflection.  Don't worry, I won't reflect too much.  

It's been a good year.  Yes, a good year.

Gloria

I just finished breakfast with Gloria.  She and I were looking out the window at the blanket of snow, dreaming of Maui - where she spent most of her winters.  I'm so thankful to be in with Gloria.  Although, the basement is freezing and the upstairs is an oven and my stuff is all over, I am still happy.  Soon enough I will be settled in my little place downstairs for some comfort and joy.  

I don't have to work until three today, but it's still one of those days where I want to do absolutely nothing but read a good book.  So for now, I will take a six, maybe seven, minute shower, then perhaps get some reading in anyway.  

Life as a college grad, I guess.

GRADUATION

So in about five hours I will be a college graduate.   

That's really all I have to say, because I'm still having trouble believing it.  

Wanted

I ought to be grading papers for the class I TA for, but I'll do it later.  

I just had to say that I am almost there!  Next week, you can find me looking for a job.  I'm graduating with an undergrad in Relational Communication.  I have experience in Communication and Marketing, as well as training/education and a heck of a lot of retail experience.  If you need someone who will work hard with a joyful spirit and do an awesome job, let me know and I'll send you my resume.  Hint hint!

My dad and Ben Tipler are looking for jobs too!  Also, my mom recently posted herself on craig's list for who knows what.  I think as an organizational specialist or party planner.  She charges $25 per hour, but seriously she can organize your life more than you could ever hope or wish.  She also plans parties/fundraisers/AUCTIONS/weddings/whatever is needed.  So this is one giant personal ad.  

So if you need:

Party Planner: Trudi

Auctioneer: Sarah Jean

Financial Smarty Pants: Kent

Something with Graphics/Web: Ben

PR/Marketing: Sarah Jean

Makeup: Sarah Jean

Life Coach: Trudi

Anything that is a full time position: Sarah Jean

Just putting it out there...

Good Grief, Charlie Brown.

Off to work...

Obligation...

This is one of those obligatory posts, because I have very little worth saying.  

I am six days away from graduation, and have so much to do with so little time to do it. 

I'm excited for this weekend, but wish I didn't have so much on my mind so I could enjoy it to the fullest.  

Remember when I said I don't paint my finger nails? Well, I have red nails for the Holidays.  Pretty neat.

I keep thinking about what I will do a week from today.  My favorite option is to get in bed with a good book and a bottle of wine and not get out until the book is through, or until I have to go to the bathroom.

Oh yeah, I had a photo shoot with Chris today.  I hope he got some good pictures for his portfolio.  

I must go and make a list of things to do...

XOXO,

Sarah Jean

Spilled Sprinkles

It's snowing.  It's a perfect snow.  The way the light is hitting it makes it almost look like glitter.  

Tonight Stephanie and I baked Christmas cookies to candle light, christmas music and the glitter snow falling outside our window.  By "baked" I clearly mean we bought break and bake sugar cookies, frosted them and then spilled sprinkles all over the kitchen I just cleaned.  However, you cannot bake Christmas cookies without a good mess.  It felt right.  The whole situation was near perfect.  We're pretty cute roommates.  I'll be sad to loose her in a week and a half to India, then Kansas City, then Elliot.  On the other hand, I cannot help but be so excited for her.

I'm just giddy tonight.

Sparkly Skirts

Right now, I'm sitting in a pull-over fleece and my new tweed sparkly skirt.  It's sad, but I just love this skirt because it is so cute.  I have to lounge in it because there are not many occasions to wear a sparkly skirt.  Even if there were multiple occasions to wear it, it's the kind of skirt that people would see and think, "Sarah Jean wore that sparkly skirt last time.  It may make her butt look very nice (which it does) but seriously?"  I must make buying this skirt worth while.

I had a perfect day yesterday.  The snow made for hazardous roads, but it was beautiful and created picturesque moments.

Ashley Moore is home.  It's always a party with some of my favorite girls.  Now I'm going to frighten her while she is in the shower.  I seriously do not know what I will do with out roommates to pester.  

......

So I wanted to turn off the lights, but Steph already did it to Ashley during this same shower, so...

I just ripped the shower curtain open...classic.

Delilah

Tonight was slow at work, so Elena suggested that we get cheesecake.  Being the woman in charge, I sent her to cheesecake factory for a late night snack.  Mmmm.  I still have left-over turtle cheesecake in my fridge waiting to satisfy my every craving. 

On my way home from work, Delilah lifted my spirits.  Please take that with all the sarcasm you can dig up.  Oh Delilah.  I have realized that everyone who calls in to her show speaks in a soothing whisper as if to match Delilah's subdued tone.  I truly wish I could reiterate the deep softness that is Delilah's voice through a bad impression.  However, being that I am typing, and you are reading, I will just have to hope you have listened to her program and know exactly what I'm talking about.  Try topping off this picture by imagining me attempting to imitate her voice.  Oh it's great.  Thank you, Delilah.

16 days!

And yet again, Oswald Chambers spoke wonderful words of wisdom this morning.  I won't type it all out.  However, if you want to read it you can click here.  I generally read the updated edition only because it is sometimes easier to understand, but the original edition is free online so help yourself.  Stephanie and I read this out loud to each other.  Yeah, we're pretty cute roommates.  That's all I really have for now.

Time to focus.

P.S. I graduate in 16 days!

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Lisa!

"By the Grace of God I Am What I Am"

If any of you have read my blog with any bit of consistency, you may know that I love Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest.  Oswald was a wise wise man, and today's reading was especially good:

"By the Grace of God I Am What I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain..." (1 Corinthians 15:10)

     The way we continually talk about our own inabilities is an insult to our Creator.  To complain over our incompetence is to accuse God falsely of having overlooked us.  Get into the habit of examining from God's perspective those things that sound so humble to men.  You will be amazed at how unbelievably inappropriate and disrespectful they are to Him.  We say things such as, "Oh, I shouldn't claim to be sanctified; I'm not a saint." But to say that before God means, "No, Lord, it is impossible for You to save and sanctify me; there are opportunities I have not had and so many imperfections in my brain and body; no, Lord, it isn't possible." That may sound wonderfully humble to others, but before God it is an attitude of defiance.

     Conversely, the things that sound humble before God may sound exactly the opposite to people.  To say, "Thank God, I know I'm saved and sanctified," is in God's eyes the purest expression of humility.  It means you have so completely surrendered yourself to God that you know He is true.  Never worry about whether what you say sounds humble before others or not.  But always be humble before God, and allow Him to be your all in all.

     There is only one relationship that really matters, and that is your personal relationship to your personal Redeemer and Lord. If you maintain that at all costs, letting everything else go, God will fulfill His purpose through your life.  One individual life may be of priceless value to God's purposes, and yours may be that life.

Good Grief, Charlie Brown

I very much enjoyed my weekend for many reasons.  However, despite all of the fantastically wonderful things that happened this weekend, I must say that it is nice to be back at my apartment.  I love love love my family, but I need need need need my privacy.  I'm now back at my apartment enjoying the peace and quiet and my cranberry pine candle. 

Last night we watched a Charlie Brown Christmas.  It's obviously a classic that always triggers holiday spirit.  They just don't make Holiday movies that convey the same message anymore: the reason for the season is Jesus (also I would like to apologize for that rhyming...I didn't mean to do it and I refuse to change it).  I think that's what I love about it so much.  Linus brings all of the hustle and bustle back to where it needs to be.

Side note:  I love the original very much for the reasons listed above, but I also like this rendition created by the Scrubs cast (I'm also very excited that I have figured out this whole posting of youtube videos thing).  I apologize that it's not as wholesome as the original Charlie Brown Christmas, but it's Scrubs...what can you expect?

Enjoy this, my friends.

Pray that I can get through these next three weeks.

XOXO,

SJW

This is the verse to memorize for the series Brent is giving:

"For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

Saturday Morning

Congratulations to Laura and Thomas the Train (aka Thomas the Canadian). They will be getting married next August and I am very happy for them. I feel so blessed that we could celebrate with them last night at Loring Pasta Bar. Side note for those of you who didn't know: Bob Dylan used to live in the place where Loring Pasta Bar is currently. How neat is that? I feel like I've experienced history.

I have done no homework yet this weekend. I have plenty that I could be doing, but I just have been too busy with far better things. With that being said, I think I'm going to try to accomplish something today.

Enjoy the sun.

Teeter-Totter

So much.

God is good. He is faithful. He is merciful. He is forgiving. He is understanding. He's just down right so so good to me.

I need to get some sleep tonight. It's been an eventful weekend. Oy Vay.

Red

Get ready for an extremely girly post. Get over it. I am a girl. I love being a girl. It's no secret that I am a girly girl (let's be honest, I'm a make up artist). I hope you all love me and my girliness (not despite of it). With that being said, I will not apologize for the following content:

I'm waiting for my toes to dry. When I say "toes to dry," I mean I'm waiting for my toe nail polish that's on my toes to dry - this is very important insight. I was going to stop at Ulta tonight and pick up some exotic sounding color from OPI like "those aren't my toys" or "I-swear-I'm-not-a-waitress red." I ran out of time, so I'm at home using Revlon's "Valentine" color. It does not give the optimal shine or wear that I am looking for, but it will do for now, I suppose. I'm waiting for this coat to dry so I can finish it off with a high-gloss clear top coat. I am a stickler about my toe nails (my fingernails stay trimmed short with no paint). If I get one chip in the polish, I redo all ten toes: remove polish, clip, file, polish twice, top coat. This may sound superficial, but I promise you it's not...well it may be, but I don't care. I feel feminine when my toes are beautiful, and when they are not, it is just something I add to my list of ugly. It's important for me to feel feminine from head to toe (literally).

Now that I have shared with you some of the superficiality that goes through my mind, I must get to bed.




Thanksgiving is only two days away!

Santa Snitched

I just filled my gas tank, which was completely empty, for $19.01! Halfway through summer, I found myself praying at the pump, "Lord Jesus, please do not let it break fifty" and it reached $49.92...no lie. It is only $1.59 per gallon at the Exon Station on County Road E2 in Roseville. Speaking of gas...I was thinking, what if American gas stations all of a sudden started charging gas by the liter? People would be going wild over the crazy low prices, not realizing that they were paying per liter. Also, what if we did everything metric? No, that would be too logical.

Next time you see me, ask me to tell you the Santa story. It's too priceless to be told any other way than live, but I'll give you a sneak peek:
"Santa said he saw you steal..."

Donuts and Bourbon

I hate that I'm sometimes surprised when God answers my prayers. Did I not expect Him to listen? When will I ever learn? God is so good...so so good.

The Sunday Morning Show on CBS today was themed "Eat, Drink and Be Merry." It had me craving donuts and bourbon (I don't think I even like bourbon). Since then I've had a couple toaster strudels and a diet coke in attempt to satisfy the craving, but it has not worked.

Short and Sweet:

I need to find a job for after graduation.
I'm looking for a new car because the shaggin wagon pooped out on me.
I have to exchange the yellow bridesmaid dress I got for Steph's wedding because I'm bigger than I thought...always disappointing.
I have so much homework to do and only 3 and a half weeks to finish it.
I'm ready for Thanksgiving break.
Today I'm going to Nina's Cafe in St. Paul to finish a load of homework.
That's my little life as of now.

With much love,
Sarah Jean

Driver's Donuts

It got cold. Do you know what I mean? Like I feel like the world was a perfect temperature then all of a sudden, it got cold. I didn't realize it until this morning when I was driving and the man on the radio said, "it's cloudy here downtown and about thirty degrees but the temperature is about to drop." Yikes. I'm still wearing my fall jacket, which lost another button today. This was unfortunate given that I had no scarf and a low cut shirt on and there was nothing to block the cold air. I need to get a new coat, and sew the button on this one.

Today was a very good day. I woke up late, and initially had that "oh no! I slept too late. What will happen to me now?!?!" feeling, but then I stopped stressing and was able to get ready (shower, dry/style hair, makeup, get dressed, brush teeth, etc.) in a half hour! This was amazing. Then I went to get gas, and it was $1.79! I knew I would be late for work if I stopped at Starbucks so I got coffee from the gas station - which I always seem to enjoy - as well as a 6 pack of mini chocolate donuts. So in the car I drank my gas station coffee, ate my "driver's donuts" and listened to the current which had the most free spirited line up. It made me so happy that I literally said out loud, "Lord Jesus, I am so happy right now." Then I went to work. So mainly my drive to work was exceptional. I didn't even mind being stuck in traffic. Actually, I was a little disappointed when the traffic picked up again.

Off to class soon. I must finish/print my paper!

XOXO,
SJW

The Snuggie

I recently got a facebook message from my dear friend, Amanda Kogle. When I opened it, this is what I found:

Ladies,

Winter is fast approaching, and I thought to myself, "How can I stay warm through the long winter months AND make an ass of myself?" I believe I have found the solution!

This makes my life so happy. I wanted to share this yesterday, but I couldn't figure out how to post it on here for the life of me.

Exegesis continued...

Once I'm focused, I love writing papers.  I'm sitting on the couch in my apartment with my laptop on my lap, surrounded by a dozen open Bible commentaries with a candle burning the scent of cranberry and pine.  I have my cup of green tea and the "instrumental folk" station playing on pandora (I can't focus with songs with words because I tend to sing along, but I'm loving the guitar picking featured on this station).  I couldn't be cozier than I am in my red and black lumberjack pj-pants, my grey and purple grandpa sweater and my little slipper socks that my grandma gave me for Christmas a few years back.  This is a very nice situation over all.  

Exegesis

I'm finally writing my Exegesis paper for my Sleep Surrender and Sabbath class.  I've been meaning to do it for a long time, but it's due Wednesday so I actually had to start it tonight to finish it on time.  I'm done exegeting (finding the original context of a Biblical passage) the first six verses only verses 7-15 to go!  I'm saving the conclusion and contemporary application for tomorrow night.  I'm on a roll, so I cannot be distracted too long.

Bethany Auction

I just got home from doing the Bethany Academy auction. Can I just say that I love doing that auction? I like it for many reasons:
~It was the auction that first striked my interest in auctioneering.
~My mom is usually in charge of running it.
~It's fairly casual.
~It's themed. Tonight was called A Night in Paradise...A Hawaiin theme.
~The High Schoolers are highly involved in volunteering. I love working with the high schoolers. Tonight there were a bunch of senior boys who choriographed their own "tribal" dance. It was awesome! They wore grass skirts, and flesh colored beaters. No, you cannot buy flesh colored beaters, but because they were not allowed to go with out shirts, they dyed their shirts to make it look like they didn't have any on. They cracked me up all night. All the high schoolers got really in to the theme and dressed up. The girls were so eager to help. I love their willingness to serve their school.
~It's always a blast.

Anyway, we had a good time and raised some decent money. I love my job.

Nursing Home Blues

I'm watching the gospel music channel.  Is that more or less pathetic than QVC?  Sometimes I just need to zone out.  I was going to get up early this morning and be super productive.  However, my alarm didn't go off and I finally woke up as soon as 11:08 rolled around.  Sweet.  

So I haven't updated on Gloria (grandma) in a while.  As you know I lived with her last summer, and I plan to live with her again upon graduation.  Heres an update:

Grandpa Mac is still alive (LORD JESUS PLEASE TAKE HIM HOME!), and he is still in the nursing home.  Apparently my mom got a phone call from the nursing home staff saying that my grandma Gloria has been creating quite the ruckus when she visits grandpa.  For instance, if she can't easily get to a seat next to him while he's eating, she will shove all of the silverware to the floor and say, "Damn!"  Overall she is not very happy or nice when she is there.  This is seriously the saddest thing I could hear.  Gloria is the most thoughtful, caring, loving, kindhearted woman I know.  I would act the same way if I only got to see my soul mate a couple times a week during lunch and when I saw him he didn't talk or barely recognize me.  It breaks my heart just thinking about it.  Please pray for her.

Dirty November

Well, the snow melted.  That's November for you.

This whole graduation thing has me frazzled.  My mind is constantly going a million miles an hour in about a thousand different directions.  There have been a handful of times this week where I have just cried for what seems like no reason whatsoever.  I could be standing in line getting lunch, or even in class.  I'm sure people think I'm sort of a crazy person, but sometimes you just need to cry.  Perhaps the tears are just trying to rinse my mind clean.  It's funny how our bodies work to take care of us.  I have been go go going so fast the past couple of weeks that finally last night my body decided to make me too sick to stand.  It was like my insides were trying to tell me "SLOW DOWN!  If you don't do it on your own, we'll just have to make you."  That's the way it went.  I was too sick but do anything but rest.  So I went to bed at 9:30 last night.  Today I'm listening to my body and I'm skipping class all day to just rest.  Less than 5 weeks to go.

So, I just sent my resume and totally forgot to attach a cover letter.  What was I thinking?!  

White

There is snow on the ground this morning.  I'm still inside my apartment wearing a towel and drinking my coffee, which is why this scene is so beautiful.  However, as soon as I get ready and head out to my car, I will find myself inconvenienced by this blessing.  I have an awesome heated ice scraper somewhere that I won at a bridal shower, but I don't know what I did with it.  

That's all really.

Tyranny of the Urgent

I have so much to do and so little time to do it.  Today I micro-organized my life.  I made a list of the days from now until December 17th (GRADUATION!), and I listed almost to the hour what needed to be done that day.  I already have my work schedule through that point so it made it easier to create an agenda.  Tonight, for instance, I need to update my resume, finish my Group Communication journal, email my professor, go to ATL (ann taylor loft) and pick up a shirt, and I may bake cookies.  Anyway, I was about to get started on the resume stuff, and Jenna texted me asking if I could meet for dinner at 5 (it was 4:41 at the time).  I haven't seen Jenna, one of my dearest friends, in nearly a month so with out hesitating I said, "YES!"  Here I am, two hours behind schedule, but satisfied with my decision.  I read this book last year, Tyranny of the Urgent, which focused on prioritizing what is important but fitting in what is urgent immediately.  Jenna was urgent.  I guess I'll push the group comm journal until tomorrow morning. 

I go down town tomorrow for an informational session at a company I would LOVE to work for.  I just found out they have a research department that does some pretty cool stuff.  I love research!  I'll get to meet some important people!  Wish me luck...no, pray for me.

Off to the important stuff.

Fruit Filling

I really like toaster strudels.  I just picked some up from Target.  Unfortunately I left it in the toaster too long, so the fruit filling was boiling and it burnt my tongue.  Ouch.  

I want to find a grown up job.  I graduate in about 5 weeks and I have no idea what I am doing.  Prayer would be nice. 

"I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me.  God is using me from His great personal perspective all He asks of me is that I trust Him."

~ Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest (November 10th)

Tag-teaming.

First of all, I would like to say that the people who live in the apartment above us keep making this squeeky-squeeky sound.  It definitely sounds like they are...well, you know.  Steph has come to the conclusion that they are playing DDR.  Nonetheless, it is annoying and I wish they would stop.

So I just got back from the North Heights Christian Academy Auction.  I tag-teamed it with Colonel Dan Swenson (I am Colonel Sarah Jean Whitson BTW, but I choose not to use the title).  We rocked the house and raised over $50,000! There were 51 items to sell, and we did it in just short of two hours.  I was nervous and flustered going into it, but after lots of prayer I was calm and having a blast.  Our tag-teaming efforts were a hit.  If I did the auction alone, people would be annoyed by my higher female voice.  Likewise, if he had done the auction alone people would have been put to sleep by his baritone chant.  We took turns selling every other item.  The variety kept people's attention through the entire two hours.  I love auctioneering!  We booked the auction again next year.

In Denial

Obama won.  In the back of my mind I am wanting to believe that it is a huge scandal and we will later find out that he did not win.  However, I know that won't happen.  A girl can wish though, can't she?  Looks like we'll be sharing the wealth.  All we can do is continue to pray.

I have gotten to that point in the semester where I cannot focus on anything school related.  I have a big paper on Psalm 92 (song of the Sabbath) due in a couple of weeks, and I haven't even thought about it yet.  I'm going to try to head to the Seminary Library for a couple of hours to begin researching.  Wish me luck.  

I Voted

I voted today. Who knows who will win, but I have done my duty. My mom wore her Sarah Palin shirt to the poles and the lady giving her the voter card told her she was breaking the law. My mom replied, "Too late." You go, mom! I don't think she successfully persuaded anyone to vote for McCain by wearing her shirt anyway. Too bad. Also, when I told the man handing out the stickers that my roommate didn't get one because she voted absentee, he had pity on her and gave me two extra stickers! So I got my sticker + two! That means I can give one to Stephanie and wear one tomorrow.

So That was my excitement for the day. Keep on praying!

Another one bites the dust...

Just kidding.  This is happy news.  Stephanie, my roommate, and her boyfriend, Elliot, just got engaged like a half hour ago.  

Congratulations to the soon-to-be Elliot and Stephanie Wise!

Scatterbrained

I can't think straight.  I currently have so much running through my mind that I can't slow it down to comprehend the thoughts.  Please, dear friends, pray that I will have clarity of mind.  

I also want to take a moment to apologize to my friends.  Dear friends, I have been a terrible friend.  I do not call you, I do not make effort to see you, and when I do see you it is brief and superficial.  Please do not take these acts of disconnectedness personally, because I guarantee that this is the way I have been treating all of my friends lately.  Take Stephanie, my roommate, for instance.  She is my roommate and I have probably seen her a total of 3 hours in two full weeks.  We live together, and I have only seen her for three hours!  So, if you do not live with me, it is certain that I have seen you even less.  For this I am sorry.  Please be patient with me.  I have so much going on that I am even struggling with finding time for myself.  I could not tell you the last time I spent time in the Word.  As I type, I am on the verge of tears because it breaks my heart to know that I have neglected my friends, my Lord, and myself.  Once again, I plead for your patience.  I promise to be a better friend upon graduation.

With all the love I can dig up,

Sarah Jean

Pancakes

Two posts in a row about breakfast...sort of. Although pancakes are generally a breakfast food, I am eating them for dinner. It's a Saturday night and it's only max and myself at home. Max was tired, and therefore cranky, so I made us pancakes for dinner. He felt better after he saw that I cut his pancakes in star shapes. Yeah, I'm a pretty cool big sister.

Well, I have to go and finish my Bible study for tomorrow. I am behind. Oops.

Enjoy your extra hour of sleep!

Babies and Breakfast in Bed

I finally saw the twins!  Tirzah and Alayna are beautiful, petite and perfect!  I had the chance to hang out with Erica (the mom) and my aunt Teresa (grandma to the babies), and hold Tirzah all night long.  I'm so happy we have babies in our family.  

After holding the perfect little beings, I went over the the Comm boys' house (the guys from all my Communication classes last year) to carve pumpkins!  It was a perfect evening.  They had a fire going in the fireplace, and once our pumpkins were carved we turned off all the lights except for the pumpkins and the fireplace and listened to some very chill music.  Christy and I were so cozy that we spent the night on their couches and they made us breakfast in bed, or in couch rather since we were not in actual beds.  We had wonderful omelets and very smooth coffee.  It was a fantastic way to spend my first day off work in two weeks.

Now back to work.  

Happy Halloween!

Distractions: Pumpkin Muffins and Eaves Dropping

I'm at Sebastian Joe's in Linden Hills studying.  As I ordered my coffee, I noticed a cranberry pumpkin muffin in the glass case by the register, but I passed on the muffin knowing very well that it would put me over the calorie limit for the day.  I sat down to study, but all I could think about was that damn muffin.  I decided to get it.  The man gave it to me for 60 cents.  Nice man.  It is well worth the calories and 60 cents.

Also, I thought I should add this...So many of you may know that I am a terrible eaves dropper.  I can't help but stare at the people I am eaves dropping on, because I become so engulfed in their conversations.  I love to eaves drop in coffee shops almost more than anything else.  People's conversations - especially taken slightly out of context - are always so fascinating.  While I was sitting here, I was eaves dropping, and the people said something that made me laugh out loud.  The two couples sitting at the table heard my cackle and looked over at me acknowledging my eaves dropping.  I simply shrugged my shoulders and said,"Sorry, I couldn't help it."  Oh geez.

Now, back to the books.

I love you.

Surprised by Joy

I keep wanting to say, "it was one of those days."  You know, the days where there is so much to do, and not enough time to do it and where it seems that everything you think could go wrong actually went wrong.  The thing is, it wasn't one of those days.  Yes, I had a gazillion things to do (so many in fact that I made up my own number to count them, hence gazillion).  I also had a share of things go wrong (like loosing my keys, or the projector being broken in the room that I was supposed to "teach" a class).  Despite this, I couldn't help but be joyful, and I'm not exactly sure why.  It was a good day.

With that being said, this morning I got an email from my professor telling me that he had a doctors appointment or something of the sort and asked me if I would show the video and lead the class in discussion.  My communication professors love me, but let me tell you that students don't like when their peers become their authority, especially when there could have been a chance of class being canceled.  Lucky for them we couldn't figure out the how to get both the audio and visual working simultaneously for the projector (ironic since it was media communication) so I sent them home early.  Anyway, I just thought it was funny that my professor asked me to "sub" for him even though I'm in the class; it was pretty flattering. 

I graduate in exactly 50 days!

Fill in the ________

Steph found a mad lib in the front of her Metro Magazine:

FILL IN THE ______

Spending Thanksgiving alone.

by john paul burgess

Being alone on Thanksgiving is not so bad.  In fact, it's kind of adjective.  While everyone else is out verb ending in -ing  and verb ending in -ing with their families and friends, you can sit at home in your article of clothing  watching TV show on TV with a cold something cold in hand.  Or, take some time to finally check out the Minneapolis landmark while there isn't a line (if it's closed in honor of the holiday, try verb ending in -ing over to the St. Paul landmark). And don't even worry about the big meal.  Just adverb improvise with whatever you've got lying around the house.  Instead of a turkey, just fry up a noun.  Instead of stuffing, just cram some noun in a noun.  And instead of mashing potatoes, try verb ending in -ing some plural nown.  Then eat it all in the room in your house (not your kitchen).  For dessert? A noun with adjective cream.  Now doesn't that sound better than verb ending in -ing with your relatives.  When it comes down to it, you'll be happy not to have to hear another story about the time your great aunt verb ending in -ed that noun in the '50s.  Boy, she sure is adjective.

I think I'll write my own mad lib sometime.  Keep your eyes out for that.  Off to study.

With love,

me

Drowning

Laying in bed last night, I realized I got myself in over my head.  Classes, work, auctions, TA-ing, sleep, maintaining any sort of social life, etc.  I'm trying not to worry, because I know what the Bible says about worry, and I know that worry ages my skin (bad news).  I just came from a long, busy week, and now I'm diving head first into another busy, stressful week.  Pray that I have the focus to get things done.  

You are wonderful.

XOXO,

Sarah Jean

Indian Food

Bare Escentuals GRAND OPENING!!!  It was slow at first, but by mid-afternoon it was busy.  There was one point we were even on a wait!  Southdale is a slow mall, but I think we can help revive it.  The mall manager came in and talked to Elsa, our boutique manager, and said, "You're the 50 yard line."  I'm assuming he was trying to make a sports analogy, which was a dumb decision given that we are a MAKE UP STORE.  But whatever, he got the point across.  I told our girls that we can bring Southdale into the end zone (I'm not sure if that is a correct way to continue that analogy because I know absolutely nothing about football).  All this to say that it was great!

I just returned from getting Indian food with the Sims (lifetime family friends).  Good gracious, my digestive system is screaming swears at me right now.  If all that grumbling could be translated into real words I think it would be saying, "Why the H-E-double hockey sticks, did you let yourself eat all that fudgin spicy food!?!"  Seriously, my tummy sounds super angry.  The food was well worth the stomach ache.

SIDE NOTE: Someone is lighting fire crackers in my neighborhood right now.  I can hear it.

Now, I must go and finish my Bible study for the day.  I'm doing The Patriarchs by Beth Moore with the women at church.  God is so good.  He uses mistake-makers...like me (and Abraham).

Shhhh

Okay, I have a guilty confession. As I write this, I am home alone at my parent's house which I have mentioned before has a sense of comfort that nothing else can give. I am drinking peppermint hot chocolate, I have a candle lit which I can see out of the corner of my eye, and I am listening to Christmas music. Please forgive me. I am not making a habit out of this, mainly because I don't want to be sick of Christmas music by the time Christmas actually rolls around. I understand that it is not even Halloween yet, but I just need this moment now. I do not feel the need to be traditional just for the sake of tradition. After tonight, however, I will try to get through the next month and a half with out Christmas music. Okay, except a song by Laurence Juber just came on Pandora, and I'm totally diggin it. Well, maybe I can listen to his non-Holiday station on Pandora.

I am thankful for my friends who read this and choose not to judge me.

XOXO

God and Politics

Let's commit to pray for this election.  I'm sure some of you already are, but it's something that too often slips my mind.  Sometimes I think there is more going on than meets the eye.

My first day of training was wonderful by the way.  If you have ever visited me at the MOA store, you know how small and busy it is.  The brand new Southdale store is huge and luxurious!  Grand opening is on Friday! Ya'll have to see it.

TMI

Sometimes I think I post too much.  Not TMI, but just too often.  Maybe I post TMI too, but whatever.  

I feel like prayer is a common theme throughout many of my posts.  Probably because prayer is a constant necessity.  Here I am again, finding myself trying to focus enough to engage myself in desperate prayer, not really sure what sort of answers I'm looking for.  I know I want God's best, but I'm not really sure what that will look like.  Vague enough?

Side note: Kate comes home this weekend.  I am so excited I could wet myself (now that is TMI)!

XOXO

New Shoes

I got new shoes for my new job that starts tomorrow.   That's right I will be Lead Trainer of the Southdale Bare Escentuals Boutique.  Woot woot!  I have to skip a week of class to do training, but my professors all understood since I'm a senior in sophomore level classes and I because am the trainer and therefore must attend the training days.  The only downer is that I am likely to get behind in my schoolwork and I can't really afford to do that right now.  Oh well.  I'm too excited to care.

I'm off to the seminary Library to check out some Bible Commentaries to write my exegesis paper.

Life is busy, but God is good.

Funny Face

I love the movie Funny Face.  Audrey Hepburn is so classy.  

I've been home (mom and dad's) all weekend, but now I'm back at school.  Poor Steph has been by her lonesome all weekend.  I made her spiced cider and cookies tonight to make up for it though.

Back from Camping

So I went camping. I think I had romanticized it a bit. You know, I would be the good big sister...no, the BEST big sister, and take them camping. Then we would get there, they would quickly make a fire the way boy scouts do, and pitch the tent. Then we would sit by the fire, play cards, go for a hike, make s'mores, and call it a trip and go home.

Now, meet what I like to call reality: It was dark. We hiked a mile with the stuff. We had to saw our own wood. We had to pitch a tent in the dark. The moon was lovely, huge and orange. The wood didn't burn. The stars were glorious. It was cold. The next morning was foggy. The day was gorgeous. The leaves were colorful. The food was prepared by 14 year old boys so it was pure sugar. The St. Croix river was beautiful, and the day-time hiking without carrying stuff was awesome. The people who had our site after us came early and kicked us out. All in all, it was way more work than I anticipated, but well worth it.

My alarm didn't go off, and I missed Bible study. Off to church!

This is nice

I just got home from work. Not Bethel home, but home home. I always stay at home on Thursday nights because I close at work then have to open on Friday morning. I have a feeling that schedule will change starting next week as I begin my new job. Have I mentioned that I have a new job? Well, I do. It is actually still with Bare Escentuals, but just a different position. I will be the Lead Trainer at the Southdale Boutique when it opens next week. I'm excited about it. I needed a change of some sort. Something more than a new haircut (which I also received today, but it's not much different).

Back to being home home. This very moment feels exactly the way I imagine home to feel (except for the fact that I am the only one awake, because generally when I imagine home I imagine my family along with it). There is a fire going, I have a glass of wine in my hand, and Neil Young is playing in the background (I'm not sure why I always associate Neil Young with home, but I will always love him because of it). I would say that only cookies could make this more enjoyable, but I just found cookies on the Kitchen counter. I love my life. I love home. My hope is that I can make my grandma's house feel a little like home when I move in with her again after graduation. You see, my home is warm and cozy. It makes you want to dim the lights, pull out a good novel and cuddle with the cat. My grandma's house, on the other hand, feels like a bright townhouse with some remnants of a 1990's Maui hotel. Needless to say, it's just not what I know to be home.

I leave to go camping with Max and his friend, Evan, tomorrow. I'm excited because they are wonderful fun. However, it feels weird that both my parents and Evan's parents think that I am grown-up enough to be the only grown-up on a camping trip. I was informed today that the site near Stillwater was full, so we will be staying at Afton State Park where we will have to carry our stuff a mile from our car to our campsite. Who doesn't love a good hike. I still wished I there was someone else my age to come with us. The offer still stands, folks.

Once again, I am thrilled to be at home. I am going to take in all the wonderful comforts.

XOXO,
SJW

Camping

Who here loves Max Whitson? I do!

He just called me a couple minutes ago and asked me if I wanted to take him and his friend Evan camping on Friday night. So guess what I'm doing Friday night? That's right. Camping with two 14 year old boy scouts. I am so excited. The nice thing about camping with boy scouts is that you don't have to do a thing! They cook, pitch the tent, and keep the fire going. I'm looking for someone my age to go with. So if you're free Friday night and can get to my parent's house or Stillwater...give me a ring-a-ling.

Max is precious. That's all I have to say.

Sticky

My keyboard is sticky. I know that's a little gross. Here's the deal. I went to Target yesterday to just get out of my apartment. It was such a groggy day and I had nothing to do so I literally stayed at my apartment all day, well until 6pm. After dinner (around 6pm) I decided to go to Target and enjoy the sky that had cleared up. I bombed around Target for a while. I got socks, a dishtowel, paper towels, coffee (desperately needed), iced tea/lemonade mix, carmel, a pitcher with a lid, honeycrisp apples (a big box for seven-something), and some candy bars for Steph and me. I was there way too long for what I got, but it was a nice outing. When I left the moon was gorgeous! It was full, and well, Ashley, you know what that means. Okay, back to the sticky keyboard...I was eating the apples with the carmel that I picked up at Target yesterday, and it got on my keyboard. I'm getting a moist paper towel to wipe it down.

That was a terrible story, but eh.

This semester has been go go go, and I don't know when I will be able to catch a breath. That's my life as of now.

Networking

Oh boy. I just called someone to ask about possible opportunities with their company. It was one of those things where I had a script written out so I wouldn't babble on and on (sort of funny: Babylon). Then as my phone was ringing I was literally saying "please go to voicemail, please go to voicemail," and then praying at the same time that if someone did in fact pick up that it would not be in the middle of me saying, "Please go to voicemail." It went to voicemail and I read off my voicemail script, but still managed to "um" and "eh" and "er" like a fool. I also talked way to fast. Now my palms are sweaty, and my hear rate feels like a drum roll. The worse part is that I didn't get to talk to anyone and now I just wait. Anticipation kills. This whole finding a job thing is so scary.

I find that blogging is a very successful way for me to procrastinate doing things that are actually necessary, like homework or my Bible study.

I just want to be auctioneering full time.

Please pray that I can go to Faithwalkers. I really want to go, but I am already scheduled that week at Bare Escentuals. I'm not sure what to do.

Really, I am off to do something productive. Sort of.

Welcome new Whitsons

We had babies! Well, not me personally...obviously. My cousin Drew and his wifey, Erica, had twins yesterday. Alayna Joy Whitson (4 lbs and 13 oz) and Tirzah Lorraine Whitson (4 lbs and 14 oz). My first reaction was "Tirzah!?! What kind of name is that?" I've always loved the name Alayna (however had never thought to spell it that way), but Tirzah seems so out-there. It means "pleasant." Knowing the meaning of names always makes me like them or dislike them more. Name meanings are so important. In the Old Testament, God would often rename people with names that were heavy in meaning. Abram for example means "high father," but God decided to up and choose Abram to be a leader and prophet and make is descendants more numerous than the stars so he renamed him Abraham which means "Father of Nations." So cool! I can just imagine God cringing at Juliet when she declared, "What's in a name?" God was probably like, "YOUR IDENTITY!" God has so many different names, and in the Bible his names are always in context with what he's doing. I'm not saying that all of our identity should be wrapped up in our name, because our identity should be in Christ Jesus, but names were a powerfully permanent way for God to identify his people with himself. Names are important. Lucky for Tirzah, I love the idea that it means "pleasant" and that Tirzah is just a beautiful sounding name. Alayna and Tirzah...beautiful names for girls that are destined to be beautiful!

Congratulations Drew and Erica!

A thought on Weddings

Kirsten got married yesterday. It was way out in the country, but it is so fitting for her. I must say that going into it I was not too excited, but by the end of the night much of my cynicism towards the tradition of weddings had faded. Here's the deal (please remember that this is my cynicism speaking, and it does not reflect my true feelings or beliefs). Many of my girlfriends from college are getting married this next year. Yes, they are in love and I am so happy for them, but I am in such a different stage of life that it's often difficult for me to relate. It's hard for me to see all of the planning aspects because it sometimes seems like people get so caught up on things that aren't important rather than focusing on what matters. I don't need to go into detail, because it will just sound angry. The point is, being at Kirsten and Adam's wedding softened my heart.

Also. It has been a nice weekend. There are so many wonderful people in town: Aunt Marisa, Ashley, and Nate. All people I love dearly, but rarely see. I would only be better if Kate and Amanda Kogle would have been around too. I wouldn't have had time to see everyone if they had come in town though, so it's all for the better. Plus, Amanda will be in next weekend, and Kate the following. It's all wonderful.

Spencer's message was good today. Download it if you didn't hear it.

terrible at coming up with titles for posts

Notice that the title of my blog is "Sarah Jean is..." Often what I try to do is match up my posts so that it finishes that sentence. Examples: Sarah Jean is Hungry, or Sarah Jean is done with hypothetical questions, or Sarah Jean is terrible at coming up with titles for posts. However, this is not working out for me. I think it may limit my title possibilities. I may need to change the overall title of my blog. We'll see.

A handful of reasons why I'm ready for Christmas:

Reason 1: Stephanie asked me to put on Christmas music today, and I did. You must know Steph to realize how big of a deal that is. Ashley, if you're reading this, you understand even more so than I. Steph generally lives by the strict rule that you absolutely cannot under any circumstances listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. She cracked. The stress of her final semester impaired her judgement and she demanded Christmas music. I played her favorite: Mary Did You Know?

Reason 2: I want to use my Minnesota cookie cutter again.

Reason 3: I could use the relaxation that I get from lying on my living room floor with all the lights off so I can watch the shadows created on the ceiling by the changing lights on the tree.

Reason 4: Faithwalkers is only a couple days later.

Reason 5: As of now, this may be the biggest reason for my anticipation of Christmas: I will be a college graduate and I will be done with all of this nonsense. I'm sorry that I feel it's nonsense right now. I am so thankful for my education, but my semester of 200-level classes that were required for the classes I already took are driving me nuts. I am so done with this stage of life. Talk about contentment.

God bless us, everyone.

done with hypothetical situations

I feel like since Sunday I have had so many "If Only..." thoughts pop into my head. Just when I thought I was content, I am finding that I am not. I'm trying...praying. It is just like God to test me on what he's teaching me. Doesn't he know midterms are coming up?

smelling pumpkin bread

I'm baking pumpkin bread right now. It has about five minutes left. I just checked on it, but I could tell the top was still a bit doughy so I'm letting it sit for a bit more. My whole room smells like the spiced fragrance of fall. I should have brought home the cider that my dad bought for me this weekend. I forgot. Oh well, hot cocoa will be just fine.

I've been job searching lately. It's really an intimidating thing to do. I think the most difficult part is having enough confidence in my own abilities so that someone will feel assured by hiring me. It's tough when I don't really know what I want to do, or what I would be good at. I have some ideas, but it's all scary to me. Will I ever be ready? I don't feel grown-up enough to have a real grown-up job. YIKES! I'm just chasing all the open doors and trusting God to close the ones that aren't right.

I just checked on the pumpkin bread again. It's super doughy on the inside. I think my pans were a bit too small so I had to make it deeper. I really hope I don't burn the edges. Oh goodness.

I have a date with Jenna tonight. She's one of my closest friends and I haven't talked to her in nearly three weeks. It's very sad. I am too busy for my own good.

XOXO

functional

Tonight Stephanie pointed out to me that I am a completely functional being. She was not referring to the fact that everything about me works, but rather that I make decisions based on the fact that it would be the most sensible or functional option. Some examples that she brought to my attention:

~I said I don't want a lot of sides or dishes at Thanksgiving this year, because we just don't need all the options. No one likes feeling obligated to eat a little bit of everything anyway.
~I threw away a candle because the wick broke off, instead of leaving the candle around for decoration.
~I want to elope someday because I can't justify spending that much money on a wedding. Steph and I have had to hear too much about weddings lately.
~Tonight I wanted to heat cider on the stove, so I opted for the tea pot to heat it rather than a regular pot so that it would be easier to directly poor into our mugs when it was finished.
~I don't like having random vases with nothing in them sitting around.
~I go through my clothes multiple times a year to weed out things I don't wear anymore so that I only keep in my closet what I will actually wear.

The list goes on. Yes, it's a little quirky, but I like this about myself. I think it will save me a lot of money, time, stress, or annoyance in the long run.

Jaded

I have a headache from thinking too much about nothing.


I had a lot to say about work tonight, however none of it needs to verbalized. I'm jaded, and that's all there is to it.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
~Matthew 11:28-30

crashed

Well, I crashed during class. I was shaky up until class started, and then when some students began a completely unnecessary debate on Calvinism versus Open Theism, I hit the wall. I just hate when people talk themselves into circles. It's discussions like this that tear the church apart. People fight over things that, in the end, don't really matter because no matter how much it is discussed, we still won't know the answer. During class I turned to the guy next to me to tell him that I was annoyed that people were talking about things off topic and that can't be concluded in a three-hour class. He took out his pen and wrote, "A God that is big enough for us to understand is a God that is not big enough for what we need." I took out my purple pen and wrote, "Amen." I take comfort in the fact that the realm in which God acts is far more than I can ever fathom.

Caffeinated

Today I have been much more productive than normal. Meaning, I achieved everything on my "to do" list. The past couple weeks I have been too stressed/preoccupied to focus. However, today I am focused.

Also I ran out of coffee today, so I had to make a target run to pick up some more. I do all my grocery shopping at Target because Market Pantry is the best generic brand available. Side note: I just remembered that I forgot to pick up new socks while I was there. Drat. Resume point of story. Anyway, I noticed that they had CityKid Java which is very exciting. When I had my internship at Cooks of Crocus Hill, I wrote a couple pieces on our relationship with the Community Design Center which is the organization that puts out CityKid Java. It's a great organization, and because it was the same price as my Dunkin' Donuts coffee and has a real smooth finish, I decided to pick it up. Whenever I get something new I feel the need to try it out immediately. So I just had a pot of coffee. I think that's enough for the day. I just hope I don't crash during class.

Putting her hope in God

God has been so good these past couple of days. I know he's good all the time, but sometimes I'm too self-absorbed to notice. He has not only come through for me, but he has gone above and beyond by blessing me. That is just like him.

Mary Knox is such a blessing to me:

"...It says about the widow [ in 1 Timothy 5:5,6] that 'she has placed her hope in God'--not people--not husband, kids, friends, church, circumstances--but she has placed her hope in God. Another one of my anchor verses during that year was Psalm 31: 14,15: "But I am trusting you , O Lord, saying 'You are my God!' My future is in your hands. "
I love the next verse: "Night and day she asks God for help and spends much time in prayer." Night and Day prayer. All the time prayer. It tandems with 1 Thess. 5: 17: Pray unceasingly [NASB] , pray continually [NIV], pray all the time [Message], pray perseveringly [Amplified]...and my favorite: NEVER STOP PRAYING [Contemporary English Version.]
How do you do this--this prayer that never stops? As Thelma Clark once advised me: 'Turn your thoughts into prayers.' This appealed to me, because during [my hard year], I could hardly read and I could hardly speak...but I could THINK. So I could do 'thought-praying.' ....
I've learned many different kinds of prayer. And what does this kind of prayer look like? Praise prayer, cry prayer, laugh prayer, scream prayer, dance prayer, silent prayer, humble prayer, desperate prayer, battling taekwondo prayer. It takes many shapes, many moods, many emotions, many sounds.
So this particular year, I've practiced battling taekwondo prayer. Someone wrote once: "If your God is so great, I dare you to try to win 'him' back with your prayers." Did I go HULK-RAGING-MAD??? You BET I did. I was like: 'Okay! the gloves are coming off. The battle is on!!!" 2 Cor. 10 3-5 says, "We are human, but we don't wage war with human plans and methods. We use God's mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons, to knock down the Devils' strongholds. With these weapons we break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God. With these weapons we conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ."
And I'm learning about fasting prayer. We've been advised to fast for our family. Even fast weekly. My flesh was like, "Are you kidding me? Fast every week? Impossible! But we've started. And it wasn't even hard. And it was wonderful. And revelatory! When you fast and pray and read: God takes you deep, and leads you, and 'rhema's' you, and reveals things, FAST! [maybe that's why God called it a FAST. It's a Fast track to God.] So I'm really excited about fasting. The first few stomach growls are hard, but I just learned to offer them up as sacrifices. My verse was Romans 12: 1: "...give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice...When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask?"
I recently read this wonderful book on parenting, by Ruth Graham. One phrase penetrated my heart: it was a line from one of her great poems: it say: SEE MY HEART UPON ITS KNEES. That's what prayer looks like.
1 Timothy 5 about the widow, has really stimulated me. I want to be a 1 Timothy 5 prayer warrior, before I age even further, and BEFORE I become a widow. I want to be this woman NOW!"

trying not to worry

Things keep coming up that generally prompt quite a bit of worry for me. Things like my car breaking again, or having too much due the next day, or having a friend come in from out of town but not being able to spend as much time with her as previously anticipated, or other things of that sort. The Lord is trying to teach me to have faith. Between the Sabbath book I read earlier this week and Brent's message today and an array of verses encouraging me to pray instead of worry, I am feeling that it is more than a subtle hint that it is something He thinks I need to work on. Sometimes I don't even know where to start with prayer in times of frustration, because I find myself just venting to God. I just want the peace he promises in Philippians.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything and tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
~Philippians 4:6-7

It seems so simple, yet sometimes it is so hard for me to remember it when my transmission is smelling funny and lights on my dashboard are blinking.

How does God vote?

"The LORD Shatters the plans of the nations and thwarts all their schemes.
But the LORD's plans stand firm forever; his intenions can never be shaken.

The best-equipped army cannot save a king, nor is great strength enough to save a warrior.
Don't count on your warhorse to give you victory - for all its strength, it cannot save you.
But the LORD watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love.
He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine.
We depend on the Lord alone to save us. Only he can help us, protecting us like a shield."

~Psalm 33:10-11, 16-20

God = Big
Government = Small

"When problems come, do you worry or do you pray?"
~Brent Knox

Soft

I just washed my hair with new shampoo and I double conditioned, and now my hair is so soft. I can't stop playing with it.


Yes, it's a Friday night and I'm washing my hair.

Loving Ashley

Ashley's here to visit! That makes me so happy. I've even letting her take pictures of me which, due to the fact that I didn't shower today, I will later untag on facebook.

We went to Famous Dave's for dinner tonight. I always enjoy FD. Yes, I eat there enough to call it FD. I forgot what else I had to say about our trip to FD. I'll post later if I think about it.

The grad school venture is still in my mind. Have I even mentioned that? Well, my advisor is trying to convince me to go to grad school next fall. I love research, so why not? Anyway, the only problem is that there aren't very many grad schools for Communication Studies, specifically Interpersonal Communication Interaction, in MN. So I am trying to first narrow it down by looking for schools that are in cities that also have a GCM church, then deciding which of those cities I wouldn't mind moving to, then seeing which of those schools are small and waive tuition for their students who have assistantships. After all of that I will need decide whether or not this is something that is actually right for me. It's all a scary thought.

Oy Vay.

Off to play with Ashley!

Worry and anxiety would be byproducts of a fundamental doubt of the goodness of God, a suspicion that maybe God's grace is limited or not enough.

~Norman Wirzba
Living the Sabbath

Loving the Twin Cities

I was just reading Metro Magazine while I was eating breakfast this morning. In there they noted that the Twin Cities is the most literate metro in the country. Take that, east coast metros!

I love Minneapolis/St. Paul!

Procrastinating

Tonight was ultimate procrastination.

After skipping both my classes today (one I actually went to for five minutes), I went to a group meeting. After which I came back to my room to make dinner and sit down to homework. As usual, I got distracted while making dinner, and ended up watching a Barbara Streisand movie on AMC and baking cookies.

On a different note:
I'm thinking about going to grad school. It is a very new thought, and not well developed. If I did it, I would go next fall. Growing up is so scary. I don't feel old enough to get my masters, but it would be wonderful! I could spend however long researching and writing and whatnot. My advisor talked to me about it today, and thought that I would be able to get into some of the better grad schools. Who knows. For now, it's just another thing to pray about.

Sidenote:
I'm just contemplating about the Barbara Streisand movie I just watched. It was weird. Babs (as I like to call her) was a jewish girl in early century Europe who wanted to study the Bible, but she couldn't because she was a woman. So she cut her hair and dressed like a boy and became a scholar who fell in love with her study partner who was in love with some one else. The girl he was in love with wasn't allowed to marry him so he convinced Babs' character to marry the girl so he could be close to her. Because Babs was so respectful to the girl in marriage (meaning she didn't force herself upon her...obviously because she wasn't a man) the girl fell in love with Babs. So Babs loved the boy who loved the girl who loved Babs. Babs finally told they guy that she was a woman and he got mad then when she told him she loved him, he reciprocated the feelings and admitted that he had been afraid to touch her before because he had feelings for her even when he thought she was a he. Turns out Babs didn't want to marry him because he wanted her to quit studying after marriage so the guy married the girl and Babs moved to America. It was a love triangle at it's best.

That's all folks...

XOXO

A Pharisee

I just wrote an entire blog post about how I was the classiest person at Cub Foods tonight even though I was wearing sweatpants and no bra (noting this was to emphasize how trashy everyone else was). Then I remembered Brent's message from yesterday and felt guilty, so I decided not to share my judgments. Anyway, thanks to the Pharisees ruining it for everyone, ya'll miss out on my entertaining story.

Looking Back

I have found that each year at Bethel has been different and unique.

Freshman year: Lots of fun and few responsibilities. It was a time where I still appreciated student life activities. I looked up to the upper classmen and could not imagine ever being that mature. I talked about living a radical life, and giggled with my girlfriends about all of the cute Bethel boys.

Sophomore year: This was a year of trials. I had a difficult living experience my first semester. Like any trying experience, I was refined. I learned the importance of striving to be the same person in the house and out. I also began to develop deeper friendships with fewer people. Second semester I had the chance to live with five other girls who strived to grow closer to the Lord and encouraged me immensely. This was also the year I learned that waitressing was not my life's calling.

Junior year: This may have been my favorite year at Bethel. I really began to grasp who I am. I found myself with a newfound sense of confidence that I hadn't had before. Due to my switching of majors, I had the chance to meet so many new and wonderful people. I fell in and out of crushes with various Bethel boys. I began to focus more on academics because I absolutely loved what I was learning. My main group of girlfriends shifted dramatically. This group of girls helped me draw close to Christ in a different way than my Sophomore girlfriends.

Senior year: To be honest I'm jaded. I don't have the drive to do homework. I only have one roommate. I love her to death, but when she's not here I feel like I don't have anyone to hang out with because the dorm we live in is not very social. When I walk into market (the main student social gathering place) or the library I generally don't recognize a soul. Many of my familiar faces have either graduated or are consumed with the business that comes along with being a senior. I don't know what I will do upon graduation in three months. I'm not sure if I've fully utilized my time at Bethel. I'm sick of people getting engaged. I do not want to be married or engaged right now, but I hate that I cannot relate to what my friends are going through. I feel left out. The thought of graduation makes me sad, exited, scared, empowered, frantic, anxious, grown-up, unprepared, and nervous all at once.

Please pray that I can figure this whole growing up thing out.

Tasting Fall

I didn't really think about fall until yesterday. Usually the start of school gets my mind completely in fall-mode. However, the fact that the first couple weeks of school were completely annoyingly hot gave my mind little room to think about the joys of autumn. Yesterday I was at a bridal shower (big surprise there) and they served pumpkin bars and candy corn. I remember thinking to myself, "hmm, that's weird." Then today I walked past Starbucks on my way out of the mall after work, only to be offered a sample of a Pumpkin Spice Frap. This I took rather eagerly mainly due the fact that I noticed that the sample was mostly filled with whipped topping (yum). I took a sip and that was when I realized that fall is emerging very quickly. To see autumn doesn't do it. I have to experience it. Taste the pumpkin, smell the spiced cider, and feel the crunch of leaves under my feet. I had my first taste of fall today.

Riding the Shuttle

It is raining today, which means I am forced to utilize the shuttle system at Bethel. I was a little hesitant to figure out the shuttle system, because the 10-minute walk each way too and from class is forced exercise. I generally get 40 solid minutes of brisk walking in on week days because of it. I hate to have the convenience of the shuttle system interfere with my daily activity. I would walk because to me it was more convenient than figuring out a new system...basically remembering the times that the shuttle leaves North Village (my apartment) and arrives at the RC steps or the CLC circle (main building). Now that I'm figuring it out, I'm afraid that I will opt for the shuttle route. No, that won't happen. I enjoy brisk walks all to much.

Remembering the Sabbath

I have a pretty good feeling I will be writing a lot about the Sabbath over the next couple of months. I am currently taking a class called Sleep Surrender and Sabbath. I originally signed up for it because it fulfilled one of my last requirements to graduate. I knew I would like it because the ideas of rest and the sabbath are not things I ponder on often. Perhaps they should be.

I started my assigned reading out of a book entitled The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel. Wow. That's all I can say. Tonight is the first time I have actually sat to think about what the Sabbath truly is, and what it really means to keep it holy. I highly recommend this book. It's only about a hundred pages. It could be read in one sitting. It was published in 1951, therefore it is one of those that has passed the test of time. Being Jewish, Heschel gives wonderful insights into what the Sabbath is. Here are only a few of the passages that I have highlighted in my book:

"Observance of the seventh day is more than a technique of fulfilling a commandment. The Sabbath is the presence of God in the world, open to the soul of man. It is possible for the soul to respond in affection, to enter into fellowship with the consecrated day."

"To the Romans technical civilization was the highest goal, and time for the sake of space. To Rabbi Shimeon spiritual life was the highest gal, and time for the sake of eternity...This, then is the answer to the problem of civilization: not to flee from the realm of space; to work with things of space but to be in love with eternity."

"The faith of the Jew is not a way out of this world, but a way of being within and above this world; not to reject but to surpass civilization. The Sabbath is the day on which we learn the art of surpassing civilization."

Please pick this book up and read it. It will allow you to wrap your mind around the idea of the sabbath.

Staying in

This morning I woke up with all intentions to tackle my first weeks worth of homework. Stephanie and I were going to make pancakes and then be productive after having a busy weekend. We made the pancakes, and sat down to watch some TV while we ate them, and then we stayed there until the fire alarm went off at 7:00 pm. We hustled to blow out our candle (which we are not supposed to have) then hid it and ran outside. We returned to actually do some homework for an hour then headed to cub to buy a brownie mix. We made brownies and sat back down where we had been all day. I am now heading to Vespers just to have a reason to leave the room.

Keep Out

I just realized that the fly on my favorite pair of jeans says, "keep out." That only solidifies the fact that they are my favorite pair of jeans. Perfect.

The StairMaster

Bethel is under construction right now. Luckily, it is no longer outside our bedroom window. Now we can enjoy the pleasant sounds of the trees in the wind instead of "BEEP BEEP BEEP" or "Charlie, hand me that hammer...NO THAT ONE!" or "Charlie got fired." We were not lucky enough, however, to avoid the construction completely. One main passage way leading from the AC building to the CC building is completely covered up. So in order to pass, one is required to go to the basement level because that is the only way through.

The class I TA for is in the CC building on the third floor. My prof sent me to Print Services on two separate occasions. The Print Services office is located on the third floor in the AC Building. This meant that I had to go down three flights of stairs then go about five feet and walk up three flights of stairs, hand Timmy (the boy at Print Services) the paper that needed to be copied, wait and chat with him for a bit, then hop down three flights of stairs, walk five feet, then trek up three flights of stairs. I was required to to that one more time during that class period. I won't even go into how many other times I have climbed the AC stairs...my other two classes are on third floor in the AC.

Now I must grade tests. I feel like I have so much power when I can grade tests.

XOXO

Burn, baby, burn

Our room smells funny. It has since we moved in.

We bought an apple cinnamon plug-it-in thing. However, the one scented object in the outlet in the corner in the room does not give out enough of a scent to overpower or mute the stench of what smells like an old diaper. Bummer.

My mom bought me a candle that was on sale at Target. Do not buy candles on sale at target. They are on sale for a reason. I lit it, and the wick burns faster than the wax melts. So that does not work either. I need to get a candle that burns. We are not supposed to have candles at all because it is apparently a fire hazard. Bahumbug. Our current candle is definitely not a fire hazard because it doesn't burn.

I'm off to my smelly room.

...but there is more...

I'm just going to say that it's been a long day.

I was pretty bored after class. I went to Target, ate dinner, watched TV Land (that's how bored I was). Then around 9 Steph called me to pick her up from class so she didn't have to walk 10 minutes in pitch black. Bethel really needs to get better lighting. It's just not safe. I picked her up, and as I turned around, we hear a "rattle rattle, cktztkes buslksejlaksoi" (that is my car making not good noises). I pull over in front of one of the freshman dorms to find that my exhaust pipe fell off. I am annoyed that my exhaust pipe fell off, but I am even more annoyed that every man - I should say boy because none of them earned the title man from me tonight - I called lacked the willingness to come and help me. Stephanie's boyfriend came and helped us...eventually, but in the mean time we were stranded. Do not think I am a damsel in distress, because I am not. I knew what was wrong: my exhaust pipe fell off. I knew how to fix it: I needed some wire (or a wire hanger) to temporarily tie it up with so it didn't drag on the ground to create sparks. I did not need a man, I needed a wire hanger, but no men could even take the time out of their evenings to deliver one, and Lord knows women don't have women hangers because they do not keep the clothes as nice as plastic or wood hangers. I don't know what I'm more upset about: my stupid car being broken or the Bethel Boys' inability to man up.

I apologize for my mood. It is obviously out of line, and I am sorry. Please pray that I can have a good attitude, and that my car can be fixed very inexpensively. I am broke, and cranky, and want to cry. It's too late in the evening for me to deal with car stuff.

On that note...good night.

...and it continues...

I have officially been to my classes.

The first one is Group Communication. It will be a crazy amount of work and my prof is crazy intimidating. Wish me luck.

The second class is Media Communication. My prof introduced the class by saying, "There is good news and bad news. Bad news: I will be ending class early today. Good news: No final." I have a feeling it will be very hard to force myself to go to class more than once a week. Eh. In this class I answered to the wrong name when he took attendance. He said, "Sarah Weston." And I replied, "It's Sarah Jean." He took note then called the next name, "Sarah Whitson." I replied, "oops that's me. Sarah Jean Whitson. I just thought you pronounced my name wrong." Turns out Sarah Weston sad directly behind me. Why didn't she say anything? Timid, passive people bother me. It's okay, she's a sophomore. She'll figure it out.

Now I'm going to go read my book, because I have no homework. Of course.

Just the beginning...

So I started the first day of school today. I haven't even started classes yet. I have only attended the class that I am TA-ing for: Methods of Communication Research. I love it...it makes me want to go to Grad School. That is a scary thought.

I have a lot of things to comment on already today.

1) The walk from my apartment to class takes over 8 minutes. I will have nice legs by the end of the semester...unless, of course, I decide to give up on this cardio thing and take the shuttle that runs every half hour.

2) I saw a girl that lead on a good friend of mine today. I glared at her, but I think it was too late for her to see. Mean girl.

3) A girl waved at me, and then once she realized that I was not who she thought I was she avoided eye contact. I saw her ten minutes later and she still avoided eye contact. Poor thing.

4) I got lost trying to find the class I TA for. Finally I found a student in the class, who was also late, and he helped me find it. When I walked in Nancy (aka Dr. Brule) asked me to write my contact info on the board then proceded to tell the class that if they wanted to date me that they could get my number/email/PO Box on the board. Perfect. Luckily I knew most the class and they found it as amusing as Nancy did.

5)I walked into Market after Comm Research expecting to sit with Ashley. Then I realized that she graduated. I was very sad.

6) People thought my outfit was cute today...thanks to Mr. Fashion.

7) My coffee date was a half hour late...typical. I sat in Market looking like I had no friends. So I organized my planner and put all of the weddings/showers/engagement parties in. Barf.

More to come as I actually get on with classes.

A Fresh Start

I can't believe it's September. This summer flew by so quickly. Normally I really don't like summer, but I feel like this was a good summer, which is probably why it zipped by without notice.

I like September for many reasons. First, it's where summer hands off it's seasonal duties to fall - my favorite time of the year. Second, it's a new beginning. School starts; a fresh start. I can start new good habits. If I were a smoker, this would be the time I would vow to quit cold-turkey. Instead I am going to commit to exercising more. Please don't ask me how I'm doing with my commitment next time you see me. Finally, Routines pick up again. Ah, routines. I get giddy just thinking about it. The wonder of knowing my schedule off the top of my head. It's heaven!

I've been praying that the Lord would give me more opportunities to auction.

Good news on the auction front! The other day I had a gentleman caller at my apartment at Bethel, but I wasn't around so Steph told him to come back later. He did, later that day, but I still wasn't there - I'm a busy girl, what can I say. Then he came back Saturday night, and I answered the door in my sweatpants and a Cooks of Crocus Hill T-Shirt with my hair in a crooked ponytail. He put out his hand for me to shake it and said, "Sarah, I am Dan. I am an auctioneer and I have wanted to meet you since I read the article about you last semester." I didn't mention the fact that it was Steph who wrote it. I was taken back. He is a junior at Bethel. I welcomed him in and we chatted for a bit. I told him that I mainly do benefit auctions, and he said that there is one in November and he would like me to do it with him! It's black tie. How fun is that?! Then he asked if I would ever consider doing any auctions other than benefit. I said that I would, but I haven't had any opportunity. He then explained that he works for an antique auction company and that they were short staffed! He's going to call his boss for me. Praise the Lord! Then the next morning, I got an email from my professor saying that she wanted to plan an auction to raise money to send students to the next CSCA conference in St. Louis. God is good.

I love fall. I am so happy school is starting tomorrow. I'm a nerd.

Side note: I hope I'm as good looking as Cindy McCain when I'm her age. Both Candidates have very beautiful wives, but only one candidate has a beautiful VP! No offense to Biden.