This leads me to my next struggle as I try to find a job. More than anything I want the job that God has for me, but I don't know what that looks like. Sometimes I wonder if it is to stay at Bare Escentuals, because of the friendships I am able to maintain with my coworkers. The girls I work with know where I stand and I know that I am different (glory to Christ Jesus). At the same time I wonder if that is right. Wouldn't God want me to be involved in the church again? I don't know what I want. I don't know what God's will looks like. I keep thinking about what Brent talked about this weekend. So this is me beginning to think about all of the horrible scenarios of what could happen. Would I be okay with working a crappy retail schedule (even though I feel over qualified for the position) if that's what God needs me to do? Yes...but only if I knew that's what he wanted. How about if I never get a job? Do you see why this is so hard to do?
Deep Breath...I am a living sacrifice.
Pray that I do what God wants me to do and that I can know with complete assurance that it is what he needs from me. I want to obey so badly.