Job hunt

As my friends head back to school to start their second semester, it is beginning to hit me that I am indeed a college graduate and that I am also in desperate need of a job.  I do have a job at Bare Escentuals as their Lead Trainer, however it is part-time.  With college loans waiting to be paid off, part-time will not cut it.  There are other potential opportunities within this company that may open up in the future, but they are all retail.  A job is a job.  Yes, this I understand, but retail is a job that runs your life.  I cannot tell you what days or hours I am free next week, because I have to wait for my schedule to be made.  I do not want my job to be my life.  Instead I want to have a regular schedule so I can commit myself to other things.  I have not served in the church since high school.  It would have been unrealistic to expect myself to go to school full time and work two jobs most of the time and also serve.  There is a season for everything.  Now that season is closed and I would like to serve at Evergreen and join a small group, but working a retail schedule I can't promise that I'll be able to show up when I'm needed.  That frustrates me to no end.

This leads me to my next struggle as I try to find a job.  More than anything I want the job that God has for me, but I don't know what that looks like.  Sometimes I wonder if it is to stay at Bare Escentuals, because of the friendships I am able to maintain with my coworkers.  The girls I work with know where I stand and I know that I am different (glory to Christ Jesus).  At the same time I wonder if that is right.  Wouldn't God want me to be involved in the church again?  I don't know what I want.  I don't know what God's will looks like.  I keep thinking about what Brent talked about this weekend.  So this is me beginning to think about all of the horrible scenarios of what could happen.  Would I be okay with working a crappy retail schedule (even though I feel over qualified for the position) if that's what God needs me to do? Yes...but only if I knew that's what he wanted.  How about if I never get a job?  Do you see why this is so hard to do?

Deep Breath...I am a living sacrifice. 

Pray that I do what God wants me to do and that I can know with complete assurance that it is what he needs from me.  I want to obey so badly.