Grown up

So the other night I was sitting and talking to some of my friends. One is a pre-med, another business marketing, and when I asked the other one her major she said accounting. I replied, "I'm majoring in a-counting too. For the rest of my life I'll be with kindergarteners just a-counting and a-counting." She didn't think it was that funny.

I don't know if I even want to be a teacher. I think I do, because there is no other major that I think I could absolutely love. Honestly, I think all I want to do when I grow up is serve Jesus. As much as I would like to marry a pre-med major here at Bethel and live comfortably, I don't think I could spend my time getting pedicures when deep down I know I'm called to something greater.

I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was living for myself.



So it rained tonight...Amazing! I had just said earlier today that I wanted a thunderstorm, and low and behold there was one. I went downstairs to say hello to a friend of mine, and as I was helping him fold his laundry we decided to go play in the rain. Play in the rain? Honestly, I wasn't sure I knew how to play in the rain anymore. When I was little I would just play with toy boats in the gutter or hold a cute umbrella. But I'm nearly 19 now. Jumping in puddles just didn't have the same appeal. So we grabbed a frizbee and headed out side where we found some other guys jumping off the little bridge on Bethel's campus into the creek and they would body surf down the creek. It looked so fun. As the rain let up we found some friends sliding down a mud slide into a giant puddle. That was fun. SIDE NOTE: Growing up I was a very cautious, and clean child :END NOTE. I was covered in mud from head to toe. I felt so freed....Amazing.

Also, conversations with a few close friends at the end of a dock in the middle of the night covered in mud could be one of the most fulfilling experiences ever.

The most important thing I've ever learned!

Vespers was good last night. I feel like it was the first time I actually felt semi-connected to the Lord during the worship since I came to Bethel. Lately I haven't felt very genuine with my corperate worship; I'd rather praise God through prayer. No shame in that.
...I was so proud of myself; I finished all my work before vespers so I could get to bed early when I got back. Funny how things don't work out as we plan. When I got back from Vespers, I remembered that I needed to print out the paper for my 8:00 class, and sure enough, the printer in the study lounge was broken (as it always is when I'm tired and have a paper due). After I let out a huff of frustration, a boy in the study lounge, who grew up in Bloomington with me, thought he'd inform me of a death of one of the guys I graduated with last year. At first, I thought he was joking, because he tends to fool around a bit, but I know him well enough to know that he wouldn't joke about something that serious. He told me that this kid, Joey, died of a cocaine and meth overdose. Honestly it broke my heart. I didn't know Joey well at all. I mean we had classes together, and talked on occasion, but we were not much more than aquaintances. What broke my heart is that he did not know the Lord. How can parents sit at the funeral for their 19 year old son who died as a consequence to his foolish choices and maybe know that he is NOT in a better place. What's the preacher to do? Lie? Say he's in a better place so everyone gets warm fuzzies? I can't imagine that he would perform the funeral in a manner that implied that Joey had gone to you-know-where. Anyway, when I had all intentions of heading to bed, I knew I wouldn't...couldn'tsleep with out meeting with Jesus. For the first time in my life, His word came together in a way that I had never realized it before. Before, though the Lord would speak to me through his word, it seemed more to me like a bunch of random guidelines strung together to make me more Christ-like. Don't get me wrong. It has always been my truth and my light, but now, I can put it together. Everything I even glanced at in the Bible came down to spreading the good news of Salvation.

"My Ambition has always been to preach the Good News where the name of Christ has never been heard, rather than where a church has already been started by someone else. I have been following the plan spoken of in the scriptures, where it says,
Those who have never been told about him will see, and those who have never heard of him will understand."
Romans 15:20-21

"Obviously, I'm not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to please God. If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ's servant."
Galations 1:10

"So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time."
Galations 6:9

"Live wisely among those who are not Christians, and make the most of every oppertunity. Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone."
Colossians 4:5-6

"Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you suffer for ding what is right, God will reward you for it. So don't be afraid and don't worry. Instead you must worship Christas Lord of your life. And if you are asked about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. but you must do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your concience clear. Then if people speak evil against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ."
1 Peter 3:13-17

It's just amazing how the Bible has this one common theme. Love and Live for God and share the Good News of Peace and Salvation. It proves how constant and great our God is. I was on a date the other night with some other couples and one of my friend's dates asked me why and how I have faith that the Bible is the Word of God and that it is inerrant (without error). Why? Because God is the same great God today as he was at the Creation of the World. How can I have faith? I just have to. If I could explain it, I wouldn't need faith.

In short: My biggest fear is to see someone leave this world with out knowing Jesus; it breaks my heart. This life is not about me; It's about Jesus. Therefore I desire nothing but to take his truth, which I find in his Word, to those who have not heard or do not understand. Jesus is the way the truth and the light and NO ONE can get to the father except through him. Gosh this is so darn important, I can't emphasize it enough.

I apologize that this was so darn scatterbrained, but there are just many things going through my head right now that are all so important and need to be voiced.