Water

Nothing soothes me like water. People wouldn't write songs like "Peace like a River" if water weren't so...well, peaceful. Today I found myself driving around with the unquenchable need for peace. I wished I was up near Bethel where there are public lakes on every corner, but I was in Bloomington where there are lakes, but none that I can just go and sit at and pray, read, think, etc. I settled for praying in the car and then heading to my house to read in my wonderfully wooded back yard while listening to a variety of intstrumental folk. My soul is at peace.

Comb-over

I have finally been able to partake in one of my favorite events of the summer...music at the Lake Harriet Bandstand! It's held every night at 7:30, except Sundays where they have a show at 2 and another at 5 or something like that. Anyway, last summer I was able to go quite often, and this summer I had the intention to do the same. However, it has been a very busy summer and I had not had the chance until last Friday where I went with a couple girlfriends to watch musicians who are apart of the Minnesota Association of Songwriters. Very chill, and wonderful. Tonight I went with Laura and my brother to watch the Bend in the River Big Band play a wide variety of Swing and Jazz. That was also very enjoyable. My nights at Lake Harriet make me very happy and at peace.

Lake Harriet is an awesome place to people-watch because there are hippies of all ages uniting for free music. Tonight, we saw a very unfortunate event. There was an old man in a rocking lawn chair (this looked like a regular folding lawn chair except that the legs were connected by a curved bar allowing it to rock...so it's exactly what it sounds like). He was sitting next to two women, one of which was in a regular folding lawn chair and the other in a rocking lawn chair. This detail is of no consequence, however I was intrigued by the existence of a rocking lawn chair. The crime was that the poor old man's comb-over was no longer combed-over. His bald head was exposed, and attached to it was a large chunk of hair free-flowing in the summer wind. I felt bad laughing, but it was a crucial point at which to laugh.

Next time we're bringing wine...

Sie haben Uber Kommen

I couldn't think of a heading for this post. This is "you have arrived" in German. I only know, because when my mom and I were in Nashville, we tried using our GPS as it spoke auf Deutsch.

Sometimes I have too many thoughts to successfully put them in what would seem to be a coherent paragraph.

Oswald Chambers had something wonderful to say today, as usual. I won't give ya'll the whole thing, just blurbs.

...We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not...His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, to goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me...It is the process, not the outcome that is glorifying to God...

It sort of reminds me of what Spencer said yesterday about being meek (not mousey meets weak). We are submissive under God's power daily.

I like that.

Also, I really appreciate Neil Young. Although his out spoken liberal views drive me absolutely nuts, his music puts me at ease in a way no other music does. Especially his Harvest Moon Album

21

My friend, John, was trying to explain to another friend and myself that you change a lot in college, which I totally agree with. Then he said that his life has changed significantly since he turned 21 (which was like 3 months ago). At the time I was like, "No way, life doesn't change much, you're just saying that because now you don't need a fake to buy your beloved bud light." Bud light...gross, I know.

It has been about a week since John said that to me, and I have found myself meditating on the idea of life changing after my 21st birthday. And you know what?!? It has changed a lot in a 2 month period. I guess I always associated 21 with drinking obviously because it is the legal drinking age. However, the changes that have occurred have nothing to do with drinking. And now I realize that he was not referring to his ability to legally consume alcohol, but rather something much deeper.

I don't even know if I will be able to successfully explain this because so much of it has to do with the way I feel rather than physical changes. I'm going to try anyway:
~ I saw a huge spider and didn't scream...I just squished it.
~ People who are 25, 26, 27, 28 years old feel like peers to me rather than someone who was a high schooler when I was in Jr. High.
~ For one of the first times in my life, I am almost completely satisfied with my body the way it is even though it isn't at its most fit.
~ I feel suffocated at the idea of marriage straight after college, unlike many of my peers at Bethel.
~ I know that two glasses of wine is too much.
~ I'm getting along with all of my siblings.
~ I'm broke.
~ My parents seem to be right all the time...well, most of the time.
~ I second guess everything that I'm involved in from church, to school, to relationships, to my career, to whatever else exists.
~ I watch the news at breakfast (that is partially because I live with my grandma).

Gosh, the list could go on. I think I'm growing up. It's the weirdest sensation, and I am slightly frustrated that the English vocabulary lacks the words to describe it. If anyone can come up with the PERFECT word. I will promise to love you forever.

I apologize that this post doesn't do justice to what is really going on inside my head. If I could express it, I would, but I can't.

Goodnight, moon.

home

Well, I'm home again.

Nashville was wonderful.
The music was wonderful...Grand Ole Opry, The Ryman, and other various establishments along the Broadway strip.
The food was not too bad either. I think I had pulled pork more times this week than in my entire life. However, Ben (yes, I'm talking straight to you), I regret to say that I think my dad's BBQ is better than Jack's. Don't get me wrong, it was wonderful, but it had some tough competition.
The conference was AMAZING. I don't think many people understand how much I love being an auctioneer. It's not just some ole job, it's who I am. It was fantastic being constantly surrounded with people who understand my passion for auctioneering. It seems weird to people who aren't a part of the business, I understand, but ya'll must know I love it.

Bid it on now...

itchy

I slept with a mosquito last night. I have to say that it is by far the worst feeling in the whole wide world. Most of the little itchy bumps are on my feet. Grrr. For some reason that is the worst spot to have a mosquito bite, maybe it's because you have to bend over everytime you want to itch it. Anyway, I couldn't sleep, so I woke up and typed "mosquito bites" into google to find some home remedy for itch-relief, because I guarentee you that my grandma doesn't have an anti-itch cream that is from anytime after the 80s. Seriously, everything in her medicine cabinet is near antique.

I was just about to explain how in researching the remedies I heard an annoying little buzzing noise, but as I began to type it the little beast decided to snack on my foot again. I killed it this time. He was a warrior though. I am itchy and annoyed nonetheless.

Tubby

Ellie will not stop baking. I'm not sure if I'm upset about it or happy. There is a good and bad to everything.

Ellie's baking: good vs. bad...
Good: She may be the best baker in the world.
Bad: She does not eat many of her own baking products...apparently baking them satisfies her need for something sweet.
Good: That means more for me.
Bad: That means more for me. My little sister, who is already a half foot taller than me, is trying to make me fat. Hence the Tubby title. eh.

I wish I had an auction coming up.

I have my first conference call today for my job. I feel so grown up.

Now, I am going to go sit in my porch and enjoy the sunshine with a cookie, a diet coke, and my Beth Moore Bible Study. I love my days off!

Crazy Busy

I have been so busy that I haven't had a moment to breath. That's the way summer goes I guess. Internship, homework, Bare Escentuals, homework, Church, homework, coffee dates, homework. That's about it. I do love my Gender Communication class - trust me I could use the help - but at the same time, it will be nice when it's over and I can read an easy beach novel (like you're supposed to do in the summer). Needless to say, I'm truckin'...barely.

DMV

I hate the DMV. It's like the entire system around the DMV is set up to frustrate people. I had to go renew my driver's license today. I know, I know, my birthday was in May, but my mom told me that they would send me a notice to renew my license and that I couldn't get it done with out it. Well, they never sent me a notice, so I went in today to get it renewed - seeing as my license has been expired for nearly a month. Anyway, here's what happened...it is so typical:

I showed up, and noticed I was the only car in the lot. Score! No picking a number, and not waiting. It wasn't even closed. I thought that the gods were smiling on me today. However I was wrong. On the door it stated "We do not accept credit cards." Who the hell doesn't accept credit cards? Don't people usually just not accept checks? Anyway, I found a local ATM, but it wouldn't accept my pin number. So then I drove to Wells Fargo and got some cash to pay for it. By the time I got back to the DMV, a whole slew of cars had pulled up, and I was forced to pick a number. The number thing said 25, and I had picked 31. So I waited, and waited and waited. Then it was my turn, and nothing went wrong, but the idea of the DMV just annoys me. My picture is kind of nice, and I am now an organ doner (three snaps for Sarah Jean)!

I needed to get my tabs renewed too, but I couldn't afford to renew both today. I hate being broke. Yuck.

If I had to choose between going to the dentist or the DMV, I would choose the dentist hands down. At least they have fish and magazines while you wait.

Hungry

I do enjoy living with my grandma. Fox News is always on. I have never before in my life been so up to date on politics. It's all she talks about. So if I spew my political opinion, please note that it is my grandma's. Side note: I have a George W. Bush calendar in my room. Anyway, she is great company. Plus she tells me funny stories from her life. Maybe I'll post those sometime.

Like every good thing there is a "but" to this matter. So here it goes:

I love my grandma and I like living with her, but there I am so hungry. Don't get me wrong, we do have breakfast together every morning which usually consists of cereal or toast with fresh fruit and coffee. I think that is the only meal she eats though. There is very little food in her pantries. I went to make dinner tonight and I looked for something easy to make like packaged noodles, soup, pizza, etc. Then I realized that she had bread so I went to make a grilled cheese sandwich, but the cheese was moldy. Then I noticed she had rye, corned beef, and thousand island dressing and I got excited because I love reubens. But the corned beef expired a week ago and I remembered that she brought a reuben dip to Easter so I figured it was all pretty old. Then she had egg beaters - you know, the fake egg in a carton - I thought I could settle for fake scrambled eggs. Then as the pan was heating up, I realized she had no Pam to spray the pan with (it was not a nonstick pan). So I got in my car and went to Lunds. I got out of my car, stood up, realized that I have spent nearly $40 on food this past week - obviously because my grandma has no food - I sat back in my car and drove to my parents house to eat a black bean burger on an english muffin. Ufda.

School's out for the summer...sort of.

I handed in my last final on Wednesday night. What have I been doing with my summer thus far? Let me tell you...

1) I worked...once. I go back again tonight, but for the most part I will be working very little this summer.
2) I went back to Bethel...twice, in three days. And because I still have to pay a bill there and register for another class for the fall, I will be back again soon, no doubt.
3) I got a new low E string for my autoharp. Good news though. I just assumed that I would have to get the entire thing restrung, but apparently autoharp strings don't stretch the way guitar strings do, so unless they snap (which they shouldn't), I don't need to replace them. What I thought would be $100 ended up being $1.49, and my mom paid for it! I plan on getting really good on the autoharp this summer.
4) I organized my life. Seriously, it's beautiful. I can not function when things are all over the place. I went through all of my clothes and split them into piles: fall (bring to school in August), fall/winter (for later in the fall), summer must-haves (things I will keep at my Grandmas with me this summer), summer I-might-want-at-some-points (things that I will keep at home where they are out of the way and yet easy to access), donate, and wash. AMAZING. I also organized/threw away all of my nick-nacks. I hate having unnecessary stuff around. Basically I am set for this summer, and when I need to move back to Bethel in the fall all I need to do is grab my pre-packed bins of "school stuff" and go. You have no idea how good it feels!
5) I bought my books for my summer class. One on Amazon and one at Borders. I haven't recieved the one from Amazon yet, but I absolutely love the book I got from Borders. I'm taking Gender Communication and my prof had us get America's Women: 400 years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates and Heroines by Gail Collins. I started it, and by started it I mean I read the introduction. Anyway, I like her style of writing, plus it puts together history, which I love, and women, which I happen to be one, so that is wonderful. I was really tempted to e-mail Dr. Brule (aka Nancy) and ask her to post her syllabus online so I could start my readings. But then I thought that was a little too nerdy, even for me.

Wow...Quite the update. Real quick...I move into my grandma's house this week. Why? Because I have no bedroom at home, and my parents would have put me in the garage again. Also because my grandpa is now in the nursing home, and my grandma needs company. It should be nice.

Until next time,
Sarah Jean

Garden Salsa Sun Chips...

I love them a lot. They are so tasty. It's like chips and salsa minus the dipping step.

I'm coming up on finals here. Honestly, all of my finals were canceled, and that is pretty nice. I just have to edit my final paper..yet again, and write my philosophy of forgiveness. I am struggling keeping myself focussed just because there is so little that I have to do, but I'll get 'er done.

I went to Mason City, IA today and saw a cell phone store called Cell-U-Byte. Gross.

His Eye is on the Sparrow...

You've got to love lessons in faith. And by "got to love" I really mean...grrrr! My life has been full of things I am forced to trust God with lately.

Something you must know about me is that I like to have everything under control: my school work, my love life (or lack there of), my career, my family, my meals, my steering wheel, my make up (seriously, I hate having others do my make up, because I know exactly how I want it)...you get the picture.

Here's what is going on...
1) My dad has been out of a job since December. He is so smart, and wonderful and would be a great asset to any company, but it is one of those things where nothing has come through the way it ought. You know how you get to a certain point in something where it's out of your hands and you just need to trust God with it. Well, that's how it has been with this job search. We cannot doubt that it's in God's timing, but we're just so frustrated that his timing is so much longer than ours. Grrr.

2) Much less significant: I have been working on a group project for my senior project. Group project. Enough said. It is so hard to give out tasks and trust that they will be done and they will be done well. Here's the thing...I have an awesome group, and I love them so dearly. They always do what I ask, and they do it well. They just don't do it how I had visualized it in my mind, and I get frustrated. I hate having to trust others sometimes. Well, we're almost done.

3) I'm graduating soon....What on earth is in store for me? I have seen first hand how competitive the job market is, and it stresses me out.

4) The list continues with a series of personal and other insignificant things that I allow myself to worry about....

The other day I was researching stories behind various hymns to share on my radio show, and I came across the story for His Eye is on the Sparrow. Basically the woman who wrote it in the 1910ish era had a friend who was bedridden for many years who was married to a paralyzed man. When she asked this couple how they coped with their life of pain and affliction, the woman answered, "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me."

It is my favorite hymn now...

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

Gracious Uncertainty...

My Utmost for His Highest was good today. I am going to share it with you....

Gracious Uncertainty
By Oswald Chambers

"...it has not yet been revealed what we shall be..." 1 John 3:2

Our natural inclination is to be so precise - trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next - that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not hte nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, "Well, what if I were in that circumstance?" We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.
Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life - gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God - it is only believing our belief about Him. Jesus said, "...unless you...become as little children..." (Matthew 18:3). The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, "...believe also in me" (John 14:1), not, "Believe certain things about me." Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in - but you can be certain that He will come. Remain Faithful to him.




I love this book...If you don't have it...Get it!

Down right busy...

I am so busy. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but being busy takes so much time.

I've been working a lot, of course. What's new? I like my job...enough.

I started my internship at Cooks of Crocus Hill.
It's pretty great. I get to proof read things, which I absolutely love.
The only problem is that I always get so hungry because everything I read there is about food.
Yesterday I just sent out mailings. I got to mail one to Garrison Keiller though. That was cool.

I've been super busy working on my senior research project.
We are ALMOST DONE!
I honestly don't know how much I can take.
Monday I cried because I did the APA wrong.
It was sad, but then my wonderful group bought me ice cream.
I'm okay now.

I'm looking forward to a break...someday.

A blustery day...

I went to Caribou today with Stephanie to work on homework. Always a good idea, right? Generally we don't get much accomplished, but it seemed like a good day to get a nice cool beverage. So anyway, we're sitting there when all of a sudden we look out the window to find that there is a metal shopping cart cruising through the parking lot. No one is pushing it. It is being moved only by wind power. It was super windy today...so windy that I had to walk backwards at times. Anyway, by this time everyone in Caribou has fixed their eyes upon the magic metal cart, most of us laughing at the thought of it coming from no where. Once it moved out of my sight, I got up to watch it roll through the lot. Just as I get out of my seat, someone said, "What if it hits a car?...haha." That's when I notice it is going full speed right towards the shaggin wagon. For those of you who do not know, the "shaggin wagon" is my 1992 Honda Accord Station Wagon. Then smack! And I say, "Damnit, it was my car!" So I go outside to check out the new dent on my car and move the grocery cart to a safe and not-so-windy spot.

Then I laughed at what had just happend. Life happens.

Help me please

I am doing my senior research project on how people present themselves online and how they percieve the honesty of others online, specifically how it relates to online dating services...PLEASE FILL OUT THIS SURVEY. Obviously, we are trying to collect data from people who have used online dating services, but anyone can fill out our survey. If you know anyone who uses online dating services, please e-mail them the link. The survey takes seriously 3 minutes.

http://CTLSilhouette.wsu.edu/surveys/ZS77593

I'm sorry I can't figure out how to link it so you may need to copy and paste.


Thanks ya'll.

Sarah Jean

Bob the Builder

Bethel is building a new student center. This is not a new venture; the project started at the beginning of August. I have kept very close tabs on this project because it is directly outside my window.

This entire year I have been awakened to the lovely sounds of big construction machinery backing up. You know the sound: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. It's like setting an alarm for 6:45 every morning but NEVER being able to turn it off!

It has been getting progressively more awkward as the student center has been built from the ground up. They are currently working on the third level, which happens to be at eye level with my apartment. I have to make sure my blinds are closed when I get dressed, which is kind of annoying because I would much prefer to have my windows wide open when I'm naked.

Sometimes we watch them. I know that sounds creepy, and rightfully so. It's called procrastination though. We have even named some of them. There is one construction worker with an especially nice jaw line who we have named Jack. Today Jack realized that we were watching them and then he dropped his hat...twice. Turns out he has quite the receding hairline.

Keep reading for more updates on the Bethel Student Center.

Shhhhhhh...

Please read this entire post in a whisper...

I am in the Bethel Library. I have been in this library more this week than the rest of the year combined. I have found that I can actually focus here. Crazy thought, right? The only things I have to distract me are facebook, e-harmony, and this blog, but I've had quite a bit of self-control up until this post. Well, I've looked through a few wedding albums of friends on facebook, but other than that I've been pretty good.

I'm working on putting together a poster presentation for the CSCA conference next weekend. Then once I finish that, I have to work on editing the literature review for my senior research project and also write up a second lit review for another class, but on the same topic. LAME. This semester is almost over. I just need to focus...focus, focus, focus.

Did I mention that my senior research project is a group project? I love my group, but I hate the idea of group projects. No matter how cohesive a group is, the project will still be 10X more work than an individual project. Yay, for being a Com major. Ey yi yi yi yi.

Okay, but seriously, I need to get to work....

The Official International Accent Bible Reading Day...

I read Philippians to Stephanie today in an Irish accent. Not all of Philippinas, just a couple verses. I wanted to do it in an English accent because Paul wrote "...indeed, he was ill..." and it made me think of Mr. Darcy for some reason. It just came out wrong.

Spencer is doing a three week series on joy at Evergreen Bloomington, and he's heading through Philippians (in an American accent).