Becoming an Auctioneer

So I am trying to figure out what my deal is with auctioning.  I have girlfriends who are my age, if not younger, who are winning bidcalling championships and doing multiple auctions a week, and here I am only doing a handful a year.  There is nothing I'd rather do more than auction.  This is a very serious thing.  However, I am scared out of my cute little cowboy boots of the whole idea of it.  I can't figure out why.  I understand that for my friends, it's a bit easier.  They are second or third generation auctioneers whose lives have consisted of only auctions.  It's like being a pastors kid.  You go to church events multiple times a week and your friends at school don't understand why you are going to church yet again.  With auction kids, they not only go to auctions they help with the auctions as ringmen and clerks and they eventually begin to call bids to help their dad's sell.  They can't have another job, because on weekends they are running auctions and they LOVE IT.  I envy that.  I wish my dad had been an auctioneer so I was more comfortable with the whole culture that comes along with auctions.  Right now it is all so intimidating to me.  Perhaps it's so scary because I am so passionate about it but fear failure.  It's like the people on American Idol who love singing more than everything and they but all their eggs in Simon's basket banking on winning American Idol to continue living.  Then they get to the second round and find out that they are not good enough to go any further.  What if that's the way it is?  I don't think it will be, but the fear still exists in my mind.  AHH.  

I get sick to my stomach sometimes when I think about what I need to do to get started.  Then again, I remember this same exact feeling when I was in Mason City at the World Wide college of Auctioneering.  We had to go up and show our group what we could do.  I had never uttered a single auction phrase before and I had to go after John Kisner who had been auctioneering for nearly 10 years.  I cried countless times that week.  I remember John saying to me in his little southern accent, "That smile is what's going to sell.  Your chant will come in time."  It took about 6 ten hour days into the course before my chant began to come, but it came.  Now I just want experience.

Sorry for that rant, but I just want to auction and it's killing me that I'm not.  If you think about it, pray that I will have the courage to just do it.